|Dr Adeolu Olusodo, Co-founder and Director of operations of Life Plus Africa|
THE SEMINAR IN DETAILS
Aside interacting with nurses in the hospital setting, this will be my first interaction on the level of Nurses association.
It is a general knowledge that while some nurses have great relationships that end in marriages, quite a number of you are having sad tales in relationships.
It is painful that people who sacrifice virtually all to make people stay healthy and happy are themselves faced with sad situations in their relationships. Even married nurses are not exempted from this as they are often under constant barrage from their husbands. Some have had to end their career because they want to save their marriage.
The major reason is that it is an occupational hazard. Many will not believe this but it is the truth. Nurses, by nature of their work, hardly have spare time to invest on close relationships. They are either not sleeping at home or not available for social functions most times. Then the fact that they are always exhausted at work makes them not too energized to keep anything moving at home. I believe my observation is right.
The other related occupational reason is the perception of people about nurses. The perception is rather old but you will be surprised that many men still keep it.
What is the way out?
1. NURSE, KNOW THYSELF:
The reason you must know yourself is because that will help you know if the man disturbing you is capable of supporting you emotionally. It is not enough that he is handsome and caring, he must understand your calling and be ready to support your ministry. He must understand what is in store for him. He must know that you are different and you stand out. He too must be different and stand out too
Dating is not to ascertain how well the guy can spend but for you to engage him intellectually. To know who he is , what is his vision and what he perceives about selfless service.
Another thing i have noticed is that women most times agree to go into a relationship with a guy before going on dates with him. Though guys too think that dating is relationship, it isn`t so! You must know the guy well before you open your door for him.
PUT HIM IN THE SPOTLIGHT: When you make up your mind about a relationship with him, that is after your dating, dating without giving yourself out, announce him to the whole world and let him announce you too. Men who have nothing to offer will not agree to that. Men who are hiding other girlfriends will not wait for that. When your relationship is hidden, you have everything to lose.
(One way to catch the guys is to tell him you are not ready for marriage and as such don`t want a relationship. If he says, no problem and still want the relationship, he is a thief. lolz)
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ASKED BY THE AUDIENCE
Ans: Hiding you and asking you to wait till marriage before unveiling you? My sister, I repeat: when your relationship is hidden, you have everything to lose. Give him 1 week to make your relationship public…failure of which you should take a walk.
Q2. Sir, I have been in love with this guy right from my university days. He used to give me money and buy things for me. But ever since I have been working now, he has stopped giving me money. He is always demanding from me even when he is working. When we are out together, he will always be expecting me to foot the bills. I`m beginning to afraid, please help!
Ans: This is a very dicey one. I am actually interested in knowing the stage of your relationship. If you have been together since university days and both of you are working now; are you preparing for marriage? I need to know that.
If there is no marriage in sight, then the guy may be recouping his investment on you or testing to know if you appreciate what he had done in the past.
Q2.1: He keeps assuring me of marriage but no plans in progress
Ans2.1: Assurance must be based on certain conditions. Not an open one. Determine why he is still not ready for that marriage.
Q3: Must you publicize your relationship for people to know? People that doesn`t, does that mean they don`t love themselves?
Ans: Publicizing a relationship is a normal thing for every relationship. It is just the same reason weddings are held in public. The relationship status of every adult should be made public. It reduces infidelity and brings responsibility.
Though, some people may not make it public for certain reasons. that is understandable. However, there must be a very good reason why it should be kept secret. No man should insist on keeping the relationship secret without cogent reason.
Q4: What are the possible things you see if a guy doesn`t care about you anymore?
Ans: What every lady need to do is to ensure you listen to your man and take note of his requests and complaints. He may say it twice and not mention it again. If you don`t do anything about it, it is already working against you. Learn to crosscheck things with him.
CEO of MULTILOADED EMPIRE