Synopsis For Nurses To Marital Fulfilment – Dr Adeolu Olusodo

On the 19th of Jan, 2018, the seminar themed, SYNOPSIS FOR NURSES TO MARITAL FULFILMENT took place on the WhatsApp group of this very website, FELLOW NURSE AFRICA. These are the details of the seminar and that of the Chief speaker, Dr. Adeolu Olusodo for those who missed it.

He is a General Practitioner in private medical practice for almost 20 years. He is a voracious student of both Jewish and Christian Scriptures and have been able to reach the teaching cadre in the two faiths.

He is a Life Coach dealing more in Happiness and Relationship matters. He is a Co-founder of Life Plus Africa, a multi-interest company devoted to removing the root cause of unhappiness in the lives of Africans.

He is also the President of Society for Love and Social Justice, an NGO involved in philanthropy and advocacy for Social Justice. He is a community development expert and a Technocratic politician. He calls himself, the Authentic Minister for Happiness – MFH

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THE SEMINAR IN DETAILS

In those days we only say ‘Nurses are beautiful’ but now with the invasion of the profession by men; it is appropriate to add Nurses are handsome. I am highly honored to be in your midst this evening.
Aside interacting with nurses in the hospital setting, this will be my first interaction on the level of Nurses association.

My being here is basically due to concern on my observation on relationship outcomes for nurses.
It is a general knowledge that while some nurses have great relationships that end in marriages, quite a number of you are having sad tales in relationships.

It is painful that people who sacrifice virtually all to make people stay healthy and happy are themselves faced with sad situations in their relationships. Even married nurses are not exempted from this as they are often under constant barrage from their husbands. Some have had to end their career because they want to save their marriage. 

Tonight, we will together find a way out of this issue and plant the feet of nurses on the path of a happy and healthy relationship. WHY ARE NURSES FACING THIS CHALLENGE?

The major reason is that it is an occupational hazard. Many will not believe this but it is the truth. Nurses, by nature of their work, hardly have spare time to invest on close relationships. They are either not sleeping at home or not available for social functions most times. Then the fact that they are always exhausted at work makes them not too energized to keep anything moving at home. I believe my observation is right.

The other related occupational reason is the perception of people about nurses. The perception is rather old but you will be surprised that many men still keep it.

That perception is that nurses are always having a relationship with the doctor. Now that men are becoming visible in the profession, it is now the male nurses.

Many men still carry this mentality.

With these highlighted issues, many men coming to a nurse for a relationship are there for other reasons aside marriage. Like it was stated earlier, they may be attracted by the opportunity of material acquisition from a nurse.

What is the way out?
1. NURSE, KNOW THYSELF: 

 A nurse is a minister in the Healing Temple of the Creator. You are like a Pastor. You need to be supported not for you to support another man. What do I mean by that? Due to the nature of your work, you need the support of your spouse to be able to perform well unlike other females in other professions.

Your partners is to ensure you are in the right frame of mind to perform. He understands your emotional need and work hard to provide those needs. When you go home, you are going home to be recharged, not drained again. Do you understand? Or I need to explain further.

The reason you must know yourself is because that will help you know if the man disturbing you is capable of supporting you emotionally. It is not enough that he is handsome and caring, he must understand your calling and be ready to support your ministry. He must understand what is in store for him. He must know that you are different and you stand out. He too must be different and stand out too

2. YOU MUST KNOW HIM BEFORE YOU OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM: It is very disturbing that many women hardly take time to study a man before they agree to go into a relationship with him. We simply abuse the stage of dating! Note: These principles are applied to male nurses too.

Dating is not to ascertain how well the guy can spend but for you to engage him intellectually. To know who he is , what is his vision and what he perceives about selfless service.

Another thing i have noticed is that women most times agree to go into a relationship with a guy before going on dates with him. Though guys too think that dating is relationship, it isn`t so! You must know the guy well before you open your door for him.

3. TREAT YOUR GUY/LADY LIKE A PATIENT: You all know how nurses put their feet down for patients. Injections will be given at the right time whether the patient likes it or not. You follow laid down management for every patient. Do the same for the guy. Make him go through the normal things in relationships. If he finds it hard to follow the rules, he will not be a good husband. Treat him as a baby as you are fond of calling us. When you call us baby, I always look out for you women being mothers. But it isn’t the case, you call us baby and yet allow us to dribble you. (How does women take care of babies? By pampering him and showing that the baby is important. When you really treat him as a baby, he will not want to repay you with heartache. Do you know there is always a level you get to and the man does whatever you desire even without you saying it?).  Lastly,

PUT HIM IN THE SPOTLIGHT:  When you make up your mind about a relationship with him, that is after your dating, dating without giving yourself out, announce him to the whole world and let him announce you too. Men who have nothing to offer will not agree to that. Men who are hiding other girlfriends will not wait for that. When your relationship is hidden, you have everything to lose.

(One way to catch the guys is to tell him you are not ready for marriage and as such don`t want a relationship. If he says, no problem and still want the relationship, he is a thief. lolz)

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ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ASKED BY THE AUDIENCE

Q1. From a lady. Sir, I have been dating this guy for close to a year now, he claimed he loved me. He shows it most times though but he is always hiding me. Each time i complained, he claimed i should wait till after marriage, what is your advice for me sir? 

Ans: Hiding you and asking you to wait till marriage before unveiling you? My sister, I repeat: when your relationship is hidden, you have everything to lose. Give him 1 week to make your relationship public…failure of which you should take a walk.

Q2. Sir, I have been in love with this guy right from my university days. He used to give me money and buy things for me. But ever since I have been working now, he has stopped giving me money. He is always demanding from me even when he is working. When we are out together, he will always be expecting me to foot the bills. I`m beginning to afraid, please help!

Ans: This  is a very dicey one. I am actually interested in knowing the stage of your relationship. If you have been together since university days and both of you are working now; are you preparing for marriage? I need to know that.


If there is no marriage in sight, then the guy may be recouping his investment on you or testing to know if you appreciate what he had done in the past.

Q2.1: He keeps assuring me of marriage but no plans in progress

Ans2.1: Assurance must be based on certain conditions. Not an open one. Determine why he is still not ready for that marriage.

Q3: Must you publicize your relationship for people to know? People that doesn`t, does that mean they don`t love themselves?

Ans: Publicizing a relationship is a normal thing for every relationship. It is just the same reason weddings are held in public. The relationship status of every adult should be made public. It reduces infidelity and brings responsibility.
Though, some people may not make it public for certain reasons. that is understandable. However, there must be a very good reason why it should be kept secret. No man should insist on keeping the relationship secret without cogent reason.

Q4: What are the possible things you see if a guy doesn`t care about you anymore?

Ans: What every lady need to do is to ensure you listen to your man and take note of his requests and complaints. He may say it twice and not mention it again. If you don`t do anything about it, it is already working against you. Learn to crosscheck things with him.

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