FEMALE NURSE ARE NOT A TOOL FOR YOUR SELF FULFILMENT; A REBUTTAL TO ‘FIND A NURSE TO MARRY IF YOU WANT TO SECURE YOUR FUTURE AND THAT OF YOUR KIDS, NIGERIAN DOCTOR ADVICES’ – FAMOYEGUN SAMUEL
I was surfing through my twitter feeds when a headline caught my attention “FIND A NURSE TO MARRY IF YOU WANT TO SECURE YOUR FUTURE AND THAT OF YOUR KIDS, NIGERIAN DOCTOR ADVICES”. This particular post was attributed to an acclaimed Medical Doctor named Dr Lekan Falusi.
It is very disheartening when you find stupidity where you expect to get wisdom, not only did a Doctor who is supposed to know better objectifies women with this derogatory remarks, he also took a dig at a noble profession by so doing. I know some people might be asking why I’m making a big deal out of this and should see it as a compliment but I will like to point out why it’s not. I’m not a good writer but I will try as much as possible to do justice to this, so bear with me.
It is morally wrong and selfish for an individual to use a fellow human to achieve their personal goals, this doesn’t entails the meaning of love and it’s a desecration of the institution of marriage. Female nurses are not tools for men to achieve their dream relocation to the United Kingdom ,U.S.A,Canada or any of their other dream countries.
As a matter of fact, marital choices is one of the major problems female nurses face in Nigeria since years past, there’s a general misconception among the Nigeria populace that nurses are well paid and automatic employment awaits them after graduation. In a country that deals with massive unemployment rate (23.1% as at 2018 from tradingeconomics.com), the men always believe marrying a nurse is the way out of poverty. This wouldn’t have been a problem if many of these men don’t resort into maltreating or killing these wonderful nurses immediately they are well off. A recent example is a man who beats his pregnant wife (a nurse) to death in Ondo state on April 14,2020 (newswatch.ng). This trend have been happening from way back with many nurses raising their kids as single mothers (beautiful job they did) to escape these monsters who only see them as a means of making money.
From a personal perspective, immediately I gained admission to study nursing, a lot of secondary school mates and seniors started coming around to check me up. Their only request was for me to link them up with a student nurse, I always reject their requests and after making several attempts I noticed they all stopped communicating with me (who needs fake friends though?). This is to let you understand the extent to which this rot has gone in our society.
In most of the responses to the tweet by the ignorant Doctor, many of his respondents wanted to use female nurses as a tool to get out of Nigeria. Not only is this unfortunate, it is dangerous to both the guys and the nurses concerned. In 2011, JSTOR.org published an article tagged “NIGERIAN WOMEN IN DEADLY INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE IN THE UNITED STATES”. It was reported from the article that nine (9) Nigerian women were murdered by their spouses between a time period of 2005 to 2008 in the US and the unfortunate fact is that all of these women were nurses. These are only the reported cases; many nurses are also living in captivity as slaves to their ‘benevolent’ husbands who ‘sponsored’ their travel expenses abroad. In a similar report from punchng.com on February 21, 2016. A Nigerian man killed his ex-wife and mother of his 2 children and committed suicide after an argument over money. The wife was a licensed Nurse in Baltimore.
To my fellow nurses, the urge to travel abroad isn’t worth the trauma and everlasting regrets that might follow. If you feel the need to travel out of the country to actualize your dream, you can easily write IELTS and link up with agencies that will help with processing your journey as a way of reducing cost. Always spot their red flags which includes; ‘I’ve always wanted to marry a nurse’, ‘my mum is a retired nurse’, ‘I heard nurses are very caring, that’s why I want you’ among others. To the general public, women especially nurses aren’t a tool to escape your reality. Marrying a nurse is a blessing but don’t marry one because of what you can gain from them only. You can’t use another human being as a tool and expect all to be rosy till the end. Our matter won’t end in tears. To Doctor Lekan Falusi, I hope you educate yourself more and have a different mindset about our wonderful female nurses henceforth. Thanks
Famoyegun O. Samuel